There was a fight where a guy got ambushed by four dudes on the way out to his car to smoke. Got the shit beat out of him, but he put up a decent fight for being one on four.

The girl I was trying to fuck ended up fucking him instead.

This dude Trent who was usually pretty cool got wasted and kept talking about how his girl was a frigid gold-digging bitch who didn't appreciate him... Over and over and over... And she was there. They broke up.

A shit ton of girls ended up crying over some damn thing. We never exactly figured it out.

This one little superdrunk twerp got in my face while I was chilling with my friends, threatened to burn me with a cigarette for insulting his favorite beer. (Bud Lite... disgusting.)

I swear I was completely sober at that point, but I had driven 30 miles and spent $40 on booze for the house just to fail to get laid, so I was already livid. Full disclosure, mood I was in, I probably would have killed that drunk midget with my bare hands if my best buddy hadn't told me to take a walk and cool off.

A fat bitch with herpes tried to flirt. My friends thought I was into it and tried to warn me away, which was ultra-embarrassing.

There were a pack of 16-year-old girls on the prowl for booze and sex, and nobody would kick them out even though they were basically walking red flags.

My best friend of 15 years and I had a meaningless argument (about the principles of Taoism or some equally esoteric shit) and he (much smarter than me) made me look like a moron in front of a dude we both mutually agree is one of our worst enemies. He apologized later for doing it, but it stung at the time.

Yeah... things like this are why I don't party anymore. It's bullshit and I'd rather be a nerd with a committed girlfriend than a bro who has to endure dumb college parties to bang dumb white girls.