OMG this. I had to make a throwaway to respond to this. My ex-husband and I were together for 10 years and porn never stopped ruining sex for him. It was like once he got porn in his head, nothing I said or did could ever get it out- not because porn is bad or ruined anything, but because he wouldn't listen to me. He was lazy, selfish, and boring. Experience and time and talking did nothing. He expected every sexual encounter to look like a porn scene.

By the time we decided to split up, we hardly ever had sex. He was too rough, he didn't care what felt good for me or for him- he just rammed into me using no lube or using spit as lube (FUCKING GROSS THANKS FOR THE UTI). RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM.

And he took like an hour to get off- maybe because he thought that made him some kind of stud, or maybe because he jerked off so god damn much. Or maybe he liked causing me pain- it chafed so much. No amount of lube could stand up to that punishment. Either way, it HURT, it caused damage, and I didn't want him to touch me for days afterwards.

I'm in a much better relationship now. Sex is warm, wet, and close. It doesn't take very long- maybe 5 to 20 minutes. It feels good. His penis is a bit smaller than my ex's- closer to average- and he moves in ways that clearly feel GOOD to him rather than just DOMINANT. It's probably no coincidence that things that feel good to him also feel good to me. It comes naturally. It's pleasant.

I've known both these men very, very well for nearly 20 years. I know they both watched an absolute ton of porn. I know what kind of porn they watched and how often they got themselves off. There isn't that much difference between them. The difference isn't that porn corrupted one of them and not the other. It's that one of them didn't fucking bother to question porn and never gave a shit what felt good to his partner. All he cared about was being AWESOME.