So terrible to hear all these stories of loss and grief. What determination it must take to continue on.
Whilst I've been fortunate enough never to have to mourn a loved one, my moment would be when I was 13 and my adult brother (21 at the time) punched me in the face after he refused to let me go to the shopping mall with my friends. He gave me a black eye that didn't disappear for a week and split lip. He had struggled with his temper throughout his whole adolescence and young adulthood, and due to our mostly absent parental figures, had placed himself in charge of my discipline. He was physically abusive throughout my childhood, hitting and slapping me across the face when I was argumentative or wanted to hang with friends. Often he hit me in discreet areas such as the back or the arms and legs.
The day he gave me a black eye was the first time I'd seen him cry and apologise to me. He would not stop saying sorry. Whilst I should have been scared, I'd never felt more pity for this figure that I'd always considered powerful and fearful. In the end, I spent hours comforting him whilst he put frozen peas on my face. It was perhaps one of the most tender moments I'd ever shared with my brother.
Before this incident, I'd always feared he would be an abusive father when he had children. I worried about the terrible trajectory his temperamental nature put him on. However, he never hit me again and is now the most loving father to two wonderful children. It's also changed me significantly because the experience was empowering. It reminded me of the potency of guilt. It reminded me of the darkness and the light that resides in us all, and one man can choose to overcome his demons.
I have to say though, my parents knew about what he was doing and chose to ignore it, and my teachers never inquired further about my black eye after I lied and said I'd fallen on it, so in many regards I feel let down by the many guardians I thought I had around me.
It's not as significant an experience as many others on this thread so sorry for the dullness, but I've only ever told one other person about it. I would even say it's not the most emotionally or physically painful moment either, but for some reason seemed to shape me the most.