Throwaway account for what will soon be obvious reasons. This one haunts me often, and I've been waiting to vent about it for a long time.

I was groggy, my eyes were crusted over, and when I finally opened my them I still couldn't see as I'd slept with my contacts in. I rubbed the crap out of them and focused enough to see that I was at home. What time was it? I reached for my phone. Fuck. I had to leave for work in 3 minutes.

I scrambled to get dressed, found my phone, ran outside..

Dude. Where's my car?

Ran back inside, called my girlfriend, she's not answering. Weird. I'm starting to freak out because I have no idea what I even did last night. I start to remember little bits. Having an amazing dinner with my girlfriend, running into an old friend at a concert...

She's still not answering.

I run upstairs and ask my mom if I can get a ride to work, if she knows how I got home, any details at all. She starts getting her things together and tells me my girlfriend helped me to the door. I was stupid drunk, she was angry.

She finally answers.

We went to a concert, but decided to get some drinks beforehand. I had a little too many. By the time we got to the show, we were having an argument. It's worth noting that this girl was as sweet and innocent as they come, and I'm being a complete asshole. We get into the venue, and there's a bar. In keeping with my asshole mode, I downed a few more drinks despite her protesting.

I started going off on my own, stupid drunk dancing. I ran into a friend and was slurring my words so much I was completely unintelligible. I started banging my head on a wall. I went to the bathroom, and security was waiting for me when I got out. My girlfriend and I were kicked out right when the band we came to see came on. She and staff tried to give me water, but I was being belligerent. At some point I started running off, and would have fallen into a canal if my girlfriend didn't stop me. She led me towards the car. At some point I started fucking up a road sign, and when she tried to stop me I swung at her. Thankfully I missed.

I'm leaving out other details, but suffice to say, I was a fucking monster that night. I started remembering bits and pieces from her story, and by the time she was done my face was soaked with tears. I knew I'd sunk to a new all-time low and there was no way we would fully recover from it.

I tried my best to make it up to her but we broke up shortly thereafter and I don't blame her. I wouldn't have even given me a second chance. I turned what started off as a wonderful night into a nightmare, and all because I was more focused on getting fucked up for a show than I was spending time with my girlfriend. I'll never forget that, and have since been much more aware appreciative of what's really important to me, but it was a hard lesson.