I survived more shit than I can remember, grew up in a dysfunctional home with a mother suffering from borderline personality disorder. She tried to kill herself many times, and I was the person she turned to for support. I was a child.

Then we moved in with a raging alcoholic who put us through hell and threw me out on the streets time after time. I grew up not knowing what a home was, and only knew fear, violence, and hatred.

I now live with PTSD, depression, and am agonizingly tired and weary from a long life that hasn't spanned three decades yet.

But I never gave up, I never turned to drugs, alcohol, or crime. I raised my little brother, put us both through college (and learned every loophole I could find in the financial aid system to make it happen, hard to sign papers without a parent), and we're both functional, mature, self aware and compassionate adults.

Because of me.

Therapists tell me that I am one of a kind. That I have amazing insight into myself, that I speak eloquently and carry myself with a care and consideration that isn't usually seen in lifelong trauma victims. They tell me they don't know how I did it, but that I'm functional. I don't know how I did it either, and if I ever figure it out I'll write a book.

To people around me, I'm someone with a quirky and very dry, sarcastic sense of humor. I'm a dependable a trustworthy friend. I am often a little too serious and can be found to have a scowl or blank stare on my face which is just normal for me. But I never, ever share what I've been through and never tout my progress as a strength or brag about what I've persevered through.

Inside I'm tired, and I'm angry, and afraid. But I still walk into my job every day, one of the most sought after and competitive jobs in the country, and hold my head high and I get my shit done. No job, person, or circumstance can break me because I've been through worse. They put me through hell and they failed to keep me there. Most days though, I am terrified that I've been through too much to ever feel truly human, truly normal. But there's still time to try.

I'm a strong, iron willed mother fucker and I probably can't relate to you or your life but I'll still treat you like you're family because I know how good it feels to receive acts of kindness and compassion from your fellow man.