That Dad did everything he could to provide for me, my mother, and my 5 siblings. He wasn't gone all the time because he hated us or didn't want to be around us. He was gone because he had 6 kids and a wife to take care of at a young age. He hadn't planned on having a big family or even having the life he was dealt from the get go. He didn't grow up with a father figure and his mom was abusive.

I resented my Dad a lot growing up because he was never around, and when he was, he was mean as fuck, high or drunk, or both. He was always too busy working or out running the roads with his buds; leaving his wife and kids at home to wonder why Daddy doesn't love us or want to have fun with us. When I was a teenager, I believed that he hated me because I wasn't like him, or my older and younger brother, who took after him. I was angsty, stupid, and selfish. All my friends had cool dads that spoke to them and kind of hung out with them, or just generally got along. My father and I never had that relationship up to that point in my life. To me, I was just a disappointment to him.

It wasn't until this year, at 25, that I finally feel like I understand my old man and what he was going through at my age. I love my Dad more than ever now and we have a relationship. He's older and calmer now and not quite the wild, running man he used to be. We've spoken more in the last 2 years than we had since I learned to speak. It took him awhile, but he finally slowed down and realized his youth is gone.

I couldn't imagine having as many kids as he did at my age. I can barely take care of myself or deal with my own daily stress. I'm glad he pulled through for all of us. He and my mom have been together for 35 years, and it's been a crazy ass ride.