I intentionally dumbed myself down and neutered my personality so that people would like me and I'd be more accepted. Looking back now, it was the start down a dark path that lead to an eventual meltdown in my early 20s.

It's cliche, but if you "fake it till you make it" for long enough, it'll eventually come. I intentionally turned myself into a self-conscious sniveling type who played up his sensitivity to excessive levels, people pleased and worried so much about what other people thought that I basically became paralyzed with emotion. Eventually, I reached the point where anyone's opinion could crush me regardless of whether it was true or not. One of my friends took advantage of this and started intentionally putting me down to make him look good (calling me weak, inferior, downplaying my natural abilities, ect.) Pretty much 100% of what he said was B.S. but I had stripped away all of my self-assuredness so all it took to break me was a disparaging opinion from anyone that I trusted.

If I could go back and talk to 16 year old pmmecoolpianopics I'd tell him to just take it or leave it as far as friends, girls, and social status go. The world you're living in is temporary and the only constant from that period of your life five years from now is going to be you. Tell the kids who take it out on you to make themselves look good to fuck right off. You don't owe them anything. Don't be afraid to say "no" or call people out on their B.S. when they try to take advantage of you. You've convinced yourself that being harmless and meek makes you a good person. The only thing you've done is compromise your integrity. Get a job. Start learning guitar and quit sports. You like the arts a lot more than you like them anyways. You want to quit but you're afraid of what the people who know you will think.

/endrant