Oh yes, do I have a poop story.
I suffer from occasional bouts of constipation. One such bout occurred a little over two years ago. I was sore, bloated and feeling icky. I hadn't pooped in 4-5 days. I looked pregnant. My SO said that if I didn't get any relief by the next day I should probably pick up some laxatives. I agreed and went to bed. The next morning there was no joy, my pants were tight and I needed relief. So on my way to work I stopped at the pharmacy and got some laxatives. Unfortunately there were only two kinds available; suppositories or oral capsules. I chose the capsules, paid for them and a bottle of water and necked two before I even got in to work. Once I had settled in and started my day I actually read the label of the laxatives, it said; expect a bowel movement in 6-8 hours. I looked at my watch and figured that I would now be expecting a bowel movement during my evening commute. Fuuuuuuckkkkk me.
My day went on. Around 4:30 something shifted and I knew I was about to give birth. I ran to the bathroom and after some effort finally had a poo. It was quite a relief to say the least! I went back to work, only to return to the washroom about 15 minutes later for another epic dump. I figured I probably had another poo or two left in me and then I'd be fine. I usually leave work at 5 to catch the train home, but there I was dashing to the washroom again about 5 minutes before 5 and dumping my guts once again. I hoped (prayed) that this was the last. I left work and I didn't even get halfway to the train before I felt another rumble. I dashed to the train with my butt clenched. Once I got on I had a choice to make; take a seat or grab the washroom. I grabbed the washroom.
My commute at the time was about 25 minutes. I pooped for about 20 of them. I could not believe that I actually had that much poop in me! But I did, and after 20 minutes of constant shitting the tiny little train washroom just REEKED. I could barely stand the smell and my eyes were watering. I had to do something. So I fumbled around in my bag and came up with the one thing that might help mask the smell; some hand sanitizer that had some strange pine fragrance. I put it on everything; the walls, the sink, the door, you name it. Only to create a monster pine/poo stink. But it didn't matter, I was done (or so I hoped) and my stop was coming up. So I pulled up my pants, smoothed my shirt and as quickly as I could opened the door, stepped out and slammed it behind me, trapping in the ungodly smell.
I sighed with relief. I was home free. The conductor announced my stop. At this point I'm just standing in the aisle, waiting for my stop when a woman next to me says "Excuse me, can I get by please?" I was hoping this was her stop too and I said "Its okay, I'm getting off at the next stop" and she said "No, I need to use the washroom." I tried to contain my horror as I stepped aside. She opened the door and unleashed the pent up pinepoo stench on an unsuspecting train full of commuters. The train stopped and I RAN away from the train and all the way home.