To break with the horribly tragic ones (so sorry for you guys, I hope you can one day fully heal), I’ll share one of my first vivid “traumas” I never thought I’d get over.

I was pretty young right? I just lost another tooth, and I was so fucking pumped. Yeah, I was excited to get $5, but I really just loved the idea that the tooth fairy would come. I thought she was cool for 100% wholesome reasons, but like Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc., she just made life fun and magical, and life will always be magical!

So I wake up truly randomly the next morning by accident, and I notice that my tooth is still there. Okay whatever, she hasn’t come yet…she’ll be here soon. I shut my eyes to go back to sleep when in walks my mom.

Cool, I love my mom. What is she doing here, though? Why’s she taking my tooth and putting money underneath…what’s going on here? What the shit???

Frankly, I was devastated. Literally, I cried almost all day because I was so initially confused before it evolving to understand that there is no magic or mystery in life. While I was grappling with that fallout, I also didn’t understand how my parents could just lie to me. Good people never tell lies, especially Christians. If they lied to me about this, what else could they lie to me about? If they can lie, why can’t I?

I was like this for like a week or two after finding out lol. Clearly, I was once a privileged AF young kid if discovering Tooth Fairy was a lie was the cause of my first existential crisis, but now I laugh