In college my friend and I took two smoking hot identical twins out to dinner. Or tried to anyway.

We went in my car and picked them up at their dorm. On the way to the restaurant my friend was acting all quiet and weird and was sweating profusely.

We get to the restaurant and just as he reaches out to open the door for the girls he violently and emphatically projectile vomits all over his own outstretched arm and the door of the restaurant.

This is a busy restaurant in a big college town so there are a shit-ton of our peers all milling around right outside the restaurant waiting for a table and talking. As he shoots hot vomit all over the goddamn place there is a cacophony of high-pitched screaming from all the girls and a chorus of "what the fuck brahhhh" from all the guys.

My friend just does and about face and walks out to the street with his puke covered arm still stretched out in front of him like some kind of goddamn shuffling zombie from a Romero movie.

We called him a cab and he went home. The girls and I had lost our appetites after that so I took them both to a bar and we just got drinks instead. If this were a made up story this is where I would tell you about how I took the twins home and got them to scissor each other while I blew a hot load of babies all over their faces, but unfortunately that is not how the night ended.

It was awkward as fuck after the great puke disaster of '06, we had a couple drinks and I drove them home. I dated one of them for a semester or so and we eventually drifted apart. My friend didn't leave his apartment for about a week after the incident, too mortified to show his face in public again.

TL;DR -- Friend and I try to take gorgeous identical twins out to dinner, but my friend shoots the contents of his stomach all over himself and the front door of the restaurant and dinner is fucking pretty well cancelled after that.