The funniest vomit I've ever seen was at my Sixth Form prom. One of my good friends was standing at the bar with the rest of his P.E class and his P.E teacher. The teacher was a pretty cool mans man in his early 50s, and he decided to buy a full round of tequila shots for the entirety of his class (we were 18, and if you haven't realised from England.) My good friend in that class was unfortunately designated the responsibility of chugging a 'dirty pint', complete with Guiness, vodka, tequila, 2 raw eggs, a mars bar, and some tobasco sauce. My friend was never known for showing off or making a fool of himself so it seemed now he really understood this was his chance to dominate this situation with all the zealous abandon he could muster.

After slamming his tequila shot he grabbed the tankard filled with the inhuman liquid and chugged harder than I've ever seen anyone chug before. About half the pint was gone in 3 seconds I shit you not, and we all thought he was gonna make it. I was standing wide-eyed and shocked at was I was witnessing.

Before he made it to the bottom though, I could see regret in his eyes alongside the expanding speed of his adams apple quivering. One big simulataneous cough/burp later and I saw the glass tankard slowly filling with vomit, from base to rim, the previous contents now mixed with his putrid bile. It wasn't large enough to contain it though, as we'd eaten a full 3 course meal earlier that evening, so I assume some of that came out to play.

Long story short, my friend ended up projectile vomitting on 4 of his (female) classmates dresses, and dropped the tankard for it to smash and end up all over his shoes and those of his teachers.

I don't know why I felt the need to tell that story. I'm sorry. I doubt it improved any readers life in any way, but man I needed to get it off my chest.