So I was seeing this girl and things were not exactly going the greatest. We fought very often. I was around 22 at the time, and figured I was in my first adult relationship. You know, the kind where things aren't perfect and you have to make concessions.
Well it's only been a few months, and we've already had more blowout fights than I can count. I'm growing tired of this stuff, but I have a long talk with her one night and we decide to stick it out through the holiday season. This is the very beginning of December.
Well a few days in to December, there is a very real tragedy in my family. My uncle, who was very well known locally and at his job for just generally being one of those great people you meet in your life, fell down some stairs in Manhattan and cracked his skull, severing his temporal artery. He's in a coma in the neurological ICU, and things aren't looking great.
My father tells me this as I'm walking out the door to head to work. I call the girl and break down once I get to work. Can't process this. Don't know what to do. I call in relief because I can't stay at work in the condition I'm in, and the girl picks comes by and brings me to her place, but declines coming with me to the hospital every time I go - which is frequently.
Fast forward a bit, we decide to unplug my uncle. I'm at the hospital when this decision is reached. She is, of course, not with me, but insists on blowing up my phone. I assure her I am aware of her, miss her, would like to see her, but really kind of need to be with my family right now. She doesn't seem fazed and hangs up huffy.
Whatever, I've got real issues right now.
There's a long night that follows. It's cold. There's a thin layer of ice on the ground from previous snow. We meet at my uncle's house and have an impromptu party of sorts. Almost like a pre-funeral. My family is Irish and Italian, and so everything is an excuse to drink and party. The only thing that really changes is who's there and the ratio of laughter to tears.
I'm the last to leave at about midnight. I've tucked everybody in and am growing sober/tired. As I'm saying my last good night, my phone rings. It's the girl. I tell her I'm locking up the house and will call her right back. "UGH. FINE.-click-"
....Right. So I call her back once I'm outside. I can FEEL the fight brewing. I know it's hovering on the edge of perception, and I'm so emotionally exhausted from the events of the past week or so that I want absolutely nothing to do with conflict. I just want some hugs and a good long sleep. So I try to avoid any mention of anything sad or depressing.
Predictably, I fail, and say something like, "You know, it just sucks it had to be this guy."
I will never forget her response. "You really need to stop wallowing."
Excuse. Me. I'm wallowing? The man is in the ICU, we just decided that if there's no improvement in the next 24 hours, we're going to let a man we all love DIE, and I should be less miserable?
But hold on, I think. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. Maybe I'm just overtired and about to overreact at her. Still trying so hard not to fight. I calmly explain to her, this is my FAMILY. We look out for one another. Take care of one another. You know, FAMILY.
Another classic rebuttal followed. "And you think I wasn't upset when you said you were going to hang out with your cousin instead of come to me?" You mean the guy in my family who is losing his father? Yep.
Instead of breaking up with her on the spot, I tell her I have to go. I simply have to hang up the phone right now. I'll call you back, but I have to go.
I hang up and immediately call my best female friend at the time. I confer with her as to who is crazy and how crazy we are. Turns out my initial assumptions are correct; I am not crazy, she is really fucking crazy. I should have dumped her at the wallowing bit.
My notions confirmed, I call back the girl as I said I would, but this time to end it immediately. She doesn't pick up, but calls back a few minutes later. She barely finishes her cranky, "What do you want?" when I tell her we're done.
She's incredulous. "You're breaking up with me?" Uh, yeah, that's about the sum of it. "You're not breaking up with me." Oh really? I'm not? "Nope. I'm breaking up with you." Oh. Well, okay then. Either way, mission accomplished. So uh, have a nice life, then, or whatever.
She tried to guilt me in to staying with her, and managed to sneak in one more argument before I fully escaped, but the "I'm breaking up with you" bit was actually pretty hilarious to me at that time.
TL;DR: Girl likes to fight. Try to work things out. Tragedy in family, and while my uncle is still in the hospital at death's door, I'm told to stop wallowing. Upon breakup, I am told I'm not breaking up with her, she's breaking up with me. We were both in our twenties.