What's the best euphemism for masturbation?

Chick sticker, Chicksicle, Chief of staff, Chimbo, Chimney cleaner, Choo-choo, Choad (chode), Chorizo, Chowder dumper, Chubby, Chubby conquistador, Chum, Chunk 'o' love, Chunder thunder, Cigar, Circus boy, Clam digger, Clam hammer, Clam sticker, Clit tickler, Cob, Codger, Colon cowboy, Colon crusader, Colossus, Coral branch, Corndog, Cornholer, Cornstalk, Cornstalk cowboy, Crack hunter, Crack smacker, Cramstick, Crank, Crank shaft, Cream-filled meat stick, Cream bandit, Cream cannon, Creamsicle, Creamstick, Cream spritzer, Crimson chitterling, Crimson Darth Vader, Crippler, Crotch cobra, Crotch cowboy, Crotch rocket, Crotch vomiter, Crushin' Russian, Cum pump, Cummingtonite, Cunny-catcher, cunt destroyer, Cupid's arrow, Curious George, Custard cannon, Custard pump, Cyclops, Daddy Long-stroke, Danger the one-e ranger, Danglin' fury, Danglin' wang, Dangling participle, Dart of love, Darth Vader, Davy Crockett, Deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love, Demeanor, Diamond cutter, Digit, Diller, Dilly-ho-ho, Ding-a-ling, Ding-dong, Dingaroo, Dingle, Dingle dangle, Dingledong, Dinglehopper, Dingus, Dingy, Dinky, Dipstick, Dirk Diggler, Divining rod, Dobber, Docking tube, Dog knot, Dolphin, Dong, Dong-bong, Dong-stick, Dongle, Donker, Donkey Kong, Doo-dad, Doo-dar, Doodle, Doodle dandy, Dooker, Doo-hickey, Doppelganger, Dork, Doughnut holder, Dribbling dart of love, Dribbling dragon, Dr. Cyclops, Dr. Feelgood, Dr. Wang, dude piston, Duke, Dumb stick, Dungula bone Early riser, Earthworm Jim, Easy rider, Egg roll, Eight inches of blunt fury, Eight inches of throbbing pink Jesus, Equipment, El Capitan, El Presidente, Elastic plastic, Elephant trunk, Elmer the glue shooter, Elvis, Engine cranker, Everlasting gob-dropper, Every-other-time, Excalibur, Excreting eel, Executive staff member, Family jewels, Fandangle, Fandangled mandangler, Fat Albert, Fat finger, Fat Johnson, Fetus feeler, Fiddle bow, Fiddle stick, Fire breathing dragon, Fire hose, Fire rod, Fireman ED, Firm worm, Fish hook, Fishing rod, Fishing tackle, Flapdoodle, Fleshbone, Flesh bat, Flesh enema, Flesh flute, Flesh hoagie, Flesh injection, Flesh maggot, Flesh pistol, Flesh rocket, Flesh tornado, Flesh trumpet, Flesh twinkie, Fleshy Winnebago, Flip-flap, Fluid spitter, Foaming beef probe, Foo-foo, Foofer , Fool sticker, Footlong, Fondo worm, Frank 'n' beans, Frankfurter, Freddy firehose, Freddy fish monger, Free Willy, Frigamajig, Frightful Hog, flute, Fudgebar, Fudgepacker, Full meal, Fun gun, Fun truncheon, Fury, Fuzzbuster, Gadget, Gag mallet, Gap stopper, Gash mallet, Gear shift, General, Gentleman's Sausage, German soldier, Gherkin, Giant-sized man-thing, Giggle stick, Gimmer stick, Girthy McGirth, Girthy sausage, Giving tree, Gleaming love sword,

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