With respect to your edit, I think that’s the complaint is the objectification. Many people with attributes they are born with or can’t help which others find kinky often want to be liked for who they are and not for that thing. I’m sure there’s those who are comfortable with it, maybe some that encourage it, but generally not everyone is down and if that’s your fetish I guess you gotta be mindful of that. Generally, trans women don’t wish to be seen as girls with dicks, asian women don’t all want to be thought of as submissive asians, and people with disabilities want to be seen as way more than just through the lens of what makes them different. As someone who is similar to you in respect to fetishizing certain things, I get you, but also I get the counter argument as well.