this pretty much describes where I'm at. I can't separate who I am from what I do, because I feel like every waking moment I have I'm either doing it or thinking about it.

I hate it. and I can't separate who I am from what I do, because I feel like I spend every waking moment either doing it, or thinking about doing it. dreading doing it, to be more accurate.

I'm in a good position, and it's the easy track that I've found. in fact that "easy track" is what motivated my entire career path. I did it because I knew I could do it, because I knew a stable, secure, well paying job would be waiting for me the day I graduated college with almost no effort required to get it. so that's what I did, and that's the job I got.

and here I am, 2 years later. I wake up at 6am every morning, clean up to go sit in a carpeted box for 8 to 12 hours depending on the time of year, and feel physically and mentally sick almost every moment of my life aside from the brief respites provided by burning my meager paid time off days - because not even weekends are enough to keep the dread away anymore.

I don't exactly have a "dream job". I've come to accept that this life I'm leading is not viable long-term, no matter how financially stable it is or how much job security the field provides me or how much time and money I've already sank into getting where I am. but I don't know what to do from here. basically anything else would mean starting over.