I worked with this one particular douche, we'll call Fred. Fred was a cunt. He was the kind of person who is better at not doing his job then doing it. A few stories leading up to the one that eventually got him fired:
He once whipped out his dick inches behind my managers back as he, my manager, was showing me something. He then proceeded to tell everyone I had done it.
All the managers went away for a conference for a week. Before they even left, he announced loud enough for them to hear, that it would be a great in-house-vacation. He played NES games through an emulator he found through a torrent site the entire time. When the boss got back and asked him what he had gotten done, he talked his way out of the fact that he did literally nothing for a week.
He constantly fucked up everything he did. Don't know how many times I had to re do things he had done. Oh, and last I heard, he was trying to become a teacher so he could have the summers off and not do anything all day.
So, on to the events that led to him getting fired. 5 of us worked up in this weird loft space of a larger building that held 30 people or so. To get up there, you had to go up a metal spiral staircase. When someone comes up, you can easily hear them coming. Unless of course you're asleep.
One day, Fred decides to take a nap at lunch. We're all getting pretty tired of his shit at this point so when 1 pm rolls around, we don't bother waking him up, we just enjoy the silence. So, 2 pm rolls around and he's still asleep. We hear someone coming up the stairs and make half hearted attempts to wake him up. So who is it coming up the stairs? The Branch Manager! He looks at us, who are now extremely interested in our monitors, and asks whats going on with Fred. We say we don't know. The Branch Manager calls our Fred's name, but nothing. Calls again. Walks up to him and starts poking him. Nothing. Has to kick his chair to finally wake him up! He concocks some story that he was waiting on me to finish something and fell asleep. Manager takes him into his office to talk.
When he comes out, we find out that he got put on probation! I couldn't believe he wasn't fired immediately.
He's on probation for 2 weeks. What does he do during that 2 week probation? Same thing as usual.
After 2 weeks he gets called in for another talk. Before heading down, he tells us that he thinks he's probably getting a raise since he had been doing so much better. Never met someone so delusional before.
I'll never forget the look on his face as he walks out of the office and says to us "Well guys, I was wrong. I got fired".
TL;DR: Fred fell asleep with his feet up on the desk. Branch manager has to kick his chair to wake him up. Gets two weeks of probation even though everyone knows he's a waste of space.