I don't know if this counts exactly. I had this "friend" when I was in college, she was just an all around nasty person but it didn't feel like it was enough to break off the friendship. For background she was mixed race, half black, half white. Not exactly uncommon where I'd grown up, so it wasn't like it was a factor in us becoming friends. But nothing any white person did was okay for her. She was usually pretty low key about it, but even everyday courtesy, when offered to her, was a "microaggression" or an "act of violence." If someone asked her how she did on an assignment it was because she was black and they obviously thought she was incapable of passing her classes.

The end of the friendship came during a period of time where my depression was really bad. I had been mildly suicidal (can't think of a better way to describe it) for some time, it was always sort of in the back of my mind that it was an option. But during that time I actually tried to kill myself. I'd always had this idea that telling anyone about these things was attention seeking, so I should keep it to myself, but I opened up to her because at the time I was desperate to talk to someone. We're talking sitting in World of Warcraft, whispering myself about how much I couldn't handle it anymore just so I'd have someone to talk to.

So I told her about it, and she wasn't awful or anything, but she didn't really seem to care. I could deal with that. Two days later she told me her roommate had made some comment which was really nothing at all, but she had blown it up into a huge issue because obviously it was steeped in latent racism. It was like leaving the milk out or something. It was honestly nothing. Trying to placate her as always, I said "Well, maybe it's not something so terrible that you guys can't talk about it and work past it. You might be able to salvage the living situation even if she's really difficult to deal with." I still remember it because I went over it again and again trying to figure out what I had said that set her off.

But whoa was that the wrong thing to say. I was obviously accusing her of being hyper aggressive and violent simply because she was black. I was threatening her with my stereotyping of her as an angry, uncontrollable black woman who would attack her roommate over the slightest issue. But I could deal with all of that. It was when she called me a whiny white girl who wanted attention and sympathy for my fake problems that I realized she was pretty much just an evil, racist asshole. Apparently she was willing to use even the most private and painful details of my life to punish me for simply being white, because that's enough to condemn me automatically I guess.