I’m useless at talking about how I’m feeling.

Last year I finally gave in and with the help of my partner managed to get help. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had therapy for about 6 months which helped a bit, but it was more how to manage it rather than “stop” it

Currently things are worse and I struggle every day but keep it to myself. I feel like I’m on a cliff edge and one day will just fall off. I keep it together for my partner and 2 young girls.

I also suspect that I have bpd but this is undiagnosed so I don’t say that I have. I have however read a lot on it and it describes exactly the way I am.

The hardest thing is is that I’m a “funny guy” that people really like (I don’t know why) so I don’t think people will take me seriously if I try and say I’m dying inside.

I’m like Pagliacci the clown ha.