This may get buried, but I'll go for it to get it off my chest. I haven't had the best life, and have done with what I had or could do. I was always treated poorly in school since about grade 2 or 3 by both my students and the staff. None of them liked me. It was because my parents were devote muslims and I was not one. Though, no one knew that at the time, since anything like that coming out would cause me some great pain at home, and I was a kid and didn't want that. I eventually came forward around first year college that I've been an atheist and just don't believe in God and any of that crap. Haven't spoken to my.abusive father since, and my mother is trying to understand how to deal with me, as a human.
Anyway, school sucked until about highschool. And then highschool sucked once I learned something about ymself that made everyone treat me worse than before. I was being looked at by the school and board psychologists for any mental disorders, and they found a few that all led to one thing: APD (antisocial personality disorder). ADHD, CD (conduct disorder) are what led to this diagnosis.
I was never actually a hyper kid, though. Nor was I a problem starter or got into any fights. The reason they decided to diagnose me with CD when I was a child was because whenever I got into a problem with someone else (i.e. being.bullied by them), they blamed me, so.i was deemed a problem student. The ADHD part was because I could never do the school work they wanted me to do and thought it was because I was getting distracted all the time so pumped me with meds that virtually made me.brain dead for months/years.
Then the big one, APD, which is aka the steps towards, or is being, a sociopath/psychopath. The issues started when the staff and psychs started warning my teachers, and then ultimately, my classmates that I may be dangerous, may be capable of bad things, and that they should stay away from me. Since that point, I lost my girlfriend, the steady grades I had started getting were plummeting (and I barely.passed highschool), I became infamous as a "sociopath", and being coined as a will-be terrorist, following in the footsteps of other people who are Arabs and also terrorists, and lost a lot of my friends. The only ones I had left were just FB friends you say hi to every few months.
Then I went to college, moving away with no one knowing who I was or my past. Unfortunately, my file moves with me, and once I got registered, the psychologists of the school board I was apart of when I was a kid/highschool contacted my college and started the whole thing.over again. Since that point, I've hated psychology, sociology, or any of that [my opinion] psuedo-shit-science since it ever only does more harm than good.
I life started to gradually improve a bit in College when the news didn't spread that much among my peers and me officially changing my name helped a lot, as well. Ever since my diagnosis, I haven't felt myself. I don't know how to really deal with myself. I've tried to test myself to prove those so called professionals wrong, but I think they're right about me in terms of APD.
But if they were right about that, they also told me that I'd basically be in jail.by the age of 25-30, and that I will never have a good relationship, or friendship since I'm the stepping stone of a terrible person, and that I just won't be capable of living or leading a normal.life without constant medication or constant consulting by medical.professionals.