Actually I think I know this guy. He lives in an apartment building across from my old place of work. I first noticed him 10 years ago, just some fucking dweeb always riding a unicyle.

Recently though I was driving by the old work place and I saw him entering his apartment complex as always on his stupid fucking unicycle but this time there was something different. He had matured a bit, looked better, more handsome, put on some good weight in the right places. He was also wearing a suit, maybe he was coming from work or something. Oh yeah, and there was something else too. There was a smoking hot chick in a nice dress riding another fucking unicycle right behind him! That mother fucker went and found himself a woman who not only puts up with his unicycling but actively engages in the lifestyle herself. It would be a bit inspiring if I had time for that instead of being jealous as fuck. Really, fuck that guy. I can't even get a girl to come to dinner with me and this fucker has a woman riding a single wheeled cycle around the city with him like it's the most normal thing in the world.