As close as you can get to being arrested without actually being arrested. I'm sitting in my car with two friends a few years back. Parked in an unlit, gravel parking lot behind the town depot at about 11 pm. I have a book on my lap covered in weed I had just busted up. The hand grinder is still on the dash, the little pill bottle of remaining weed on the console under the hand break.

I take out a paper and start to roll and a car pulls in behind us. Obviously, the guy in the back seat says "cops."

By then they're already out of their vehicle and rushing toward us. I remember putting the book under my seat, and the guy in shotgun scooped the hand grinder and any paraphernalia into the bin in the console.

From the time I saw the headlights to the time they were knocking on my window was about seven or eight seconds.

I opened the window and he immediately said "WHAT DID YOU JUST PUT UNDER THE SEAT!?" The other cop with him said "They put something in the console too." They're really agitated, trying to move quick, circling the car with flashlights looking in the windows. The first cop somehow forgets seeing me put something under the seat and starts to focus on the console. "WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THERE?"

So I lean over and look in, and under the layer of drug related stuff I see a few old pairs of sunglasses, an air miles card, receipts. I grab it in one big handful and hold it out to the cop with a confused look on my face.

They continue to circle and see my backpack sitting on the back seat and it has a magic wand sitting on top of it, that I'd taken out and just laid there so I could get my weed out earlier. A magic wand is a toilet paper tube stuffed with fabric softener sheets. You exhale smoke through it to mask the smell.

Had they known what it was they'd have had their probable cause to search the vehicle. Luckily they had no idea, and started demanding that the guy in the back seat remove all the bounce sheets and start unfolding them (I guess they thought each one had drugs inside?) My back seat buddy just kept saying "It's tissue man... it's just tissue." They essentially told him to dismantle it, making it no longer incriminating.

While all this was going on I'm sitting in the front seat and realize the weed filled pill bottle is still sitting there under the hand break. The 3 of us just remain silent. After another 30 seconds or so the two cops back up behind the car and start to chat.

I slide the pill bottle into the console, and after a second I conclude they don't realize we're guilty of what they suspected.

So I lean out the window and say "Umm... did you guys get a call or something? We're not causing any trouble down here."

By now two more cop cars had arrived, one a ghost car. The two original cops rush back over to the window and say "No no we didn't get a call. What are you guys doing down here?"

"Well I gotta go to my night shift in a couple hours, I was going to have a cigarette."

"You must realize that a couple guys your age hanging out in a dark parking lot is a bit suspicious... If you were in an apartment somewhere we'd understand"

I say, "I live with my parents".

Backseat buddy says "Haha, me too. I'm poor" The three of us laugh and the cops get defensive and say "No no, we didn't mean anything by that."

Less than a minute later they were actually apologizing for startling us, wished us a good night and the 3 cars pulled away leaving us in the darkness.

I got out and spent a good 15 seconds trying to light a smoke because my hands were so shaky.

"I don't think we should get baked here."

"Nah, lets go to my apartment."

"Haha, yeah."