My first love (and basically everything else as well) contacted me a few months ago after 5 years of not speaking. He had gotten married, had a kid..just didn't speak to me anymore after he met this girl.

We had started dating when I was 15 and he was 14. Dated until I was 17 and him 16. After that we still talked, even when we dated others and hooked up now and then between me being 17-20. The last time we spoke was when I was 20 and he had came to my apartment to hang out. He had been dating -girl he marries- for years at that point, cheated on her with me and I'd cheated for him (although my relationship was toxic as fuck and we ended it anyways). But we were gonna hook up that night and I said I couldn't anymore, because of the girl. He asked her to marry him 2 weeks after that and I was broken hearted.

So here we come to the FB message. He had divorced the girl for reasons (cheating on both sides, her being a bitch etcetc) and I said I'd be there to talk. Me on the other hand.. I just got married two days before. All those feelings came rushing back. All the dreams he'd been in of mine over the years, the hurt I felt and the confusion on why I couldn't let him go. It made me feel like shit. But I still talked to him, let him know I was there for him.

Finally, one night when we'd both been drinking, we called each other. We talked for hours..and finally I got to tell him how I felt after all the years. How I still dream about him and still get butterflies when I think of him. How it feels like my heart sits in my throat and I want to cry.. How I miss him.

The worst part? He felt the same way. He still dreams of me. Hurts when he sees me. Loves me. Its like we're both happy of course, with our lives, but we live in each others heads. He has a girlfriend now, and I'm happy for him. He's happy for me.

I guess my story is one of those "romantic" stories about people who love each other but..just can't seem to get the timing right..?

My heart hurts typing this.