Male to female general is a thread on /lgbt/ called /mtfg/ It's where you can go and say whatever you want honestly without year 1 types hitting you with Reddit ideology or their own insecurities, with no life experience and being mob down voted hidden and banned for problematic ideas, and to be clear I'm an extremely toxic user and was even more so 4 years ago as a delayed adolescent disaster tran. I usually keep my opinions that aren't directly trans positive to myself, but I do hold a lot of very controversial opinions like booting trans from sports for short hand example that I don't wish to elaborate on or debate. On 4chan, you can even throw slurs and many of us did at ourselves and each other and at the wider audience and community. It's cathartic and fun and helpful in my opinion, but some girls get addicted to the toxic and never leave. I left after 1 full year of shit posting and was basically out of trans spaces until recently when I started a project to bait creepers and pedos out of discord channels. No one wants to talk about it but a lot of discord channels are poorly designed by literal children with very very good hearts and intentions, but it also means it attracts groomers, pedos, and other creepers many of who aren't actually trans but pretend to be. Then I found myself washed up on the Reddit shorelines with all my experiences from plundering other sites and here I am.
As for my irl experience, it's been a really mixed bag. I hate most men in general, and gay men tend to have zero in common so I avoid them. Cis lesbians avoid me because we have little in common. This leaves me with an abundance of queer friends, and mostly cis straight women as friends. Just my personal preference. And I only date bisexual, gyphilic leaning cis women.
The local, and I don't apply this blanket elsewhere, but LOCAL lgbtqa+POC+communist community in my local area are inseparable. Trying to avoid any one part of that, especially the communism, gets you outright slandered to such extent people have been banned from pride center for toxic ideas like "maybe politics isn't really appropriate here and occupy wall street talking points and orange man bad hysterics doesn't need to be involved in my gender?" and "I'm not a bigot because I didnt show up to block a fuckin highway and get arrested because a cop shot some kid I never met and that seems disconnected from my gender identity". I am fundamentally against progressive agendas and that type of leftist ideology, and it is PERVASIVE where I'm from, and I dislike queer politics wholesale. I don't have problems explicitly with trans people, but I found a profound and overwhelming amount of mental illness and life dysfunction and sexual degenerate behavior (categorized by rumor spreading, uploading pictures without consent, and self mutilating and drug abuse in conjunction with "every trans dates every other tran" super hard core middle school drama theatrics after "break ups". Local police and bars have banned several of these folks) within the population. Everyone knows everyone and half of them "pan poly!" and so if one thing goes wrong in a friend ship, there is a chain of molecular disfunction because everyone is banging each other and everyone jumps to take sides. Also a heavy overlap with homosexual male dating culture on Grindr, lots of STI problems, etc etc.
I only date cis women, so I avoid the trans who take their transition more a sexual route within the trans population generally, usually for my own safety, because no one wants to talk about it, but there is an elevated risk of assault for being trans, and often that comes from other trans taking things too far. There is a lot of that dysfunction, specifically in the 25+ started HRT bracket which I find myself just on the cusp of. When I do interact with the pride center, it's to offer voice lessons, and I'm known locally for being pretty aggressively concervative otherwise.
I decided early on I didn't want to join the trans community on Tumblr or Reddit, and so I ended up on 4chan and thank God for 4chan where I could think honestly, and voice my options and opinions for genuine feedback, and not get banned for my transmed phase (which I outgrew).
In real life, My two best friends are trans, one is WAY open and way involved in that problematic sex stuff, and drama, but she keeps her distance from what she terms "disaster trans", the ones who seriously just can't help but ruin everyone else's lives because their are already poop. And my other friend, like me, or even more than me is 100% stealth and works in a law office and avoids the idiots and activist types. Activists, more than lgbt people annoy me and unfortunately locally those two have such a huge overlap, it is impossible to attend a trans positive group or anything without being banded fliers or rumors.
My hate has turned against the far right, a culture I was raised in, and for a long time embraced.
As for self injury, I didn't hurt my self physically since high school. However, I did starve myself, and punish myself in other extremely unhealthy ways and I wish I had done things differently.
Things didn't go well the first year for me.
I'm glad you're finding solace and comradery!!! I wish I had reached out a bit more, but due to my own internalized phobia and conception of what was happening, I sheltered away. It ended up working for me, but I don't think most people come from where I came from and that's for the best. Very few alt right types turn trans, I am for sure a minority.