Now that I know what is going on (me being an asexual guy) I just feel like I understand it and can be better. I don't need to wait for attraction and can just fake my way around it but that feels so wrong to other people. On the other hand there are just too few asexual people and how would I even meet them, even then I have some other interests that might not match up.
When it comes to sex however I am not sure if I should try it or not. I mean it is not like I will be disappointed if I don't like it. I am not sex-averse or anything I just don't see the point aside from pleasing someone else I care about. I just feel like it would be unfair to seek out a casual partner I have no attraction to. Plenty of people are willing but I feel like they just want me for my body and not for who I am. I don't know if I want to be in a position that vulnerable with someone who doesn't care about me. Then again I don't want to get too close to someone and have them connect with me only to disappoint them later because I am pretty sure I know the answer.
I mean I am fairly certain I won't hate it but I am a little afraid it will be hard to hide I am not into it. I just want to be normal but I fear that is just not in the cards for me.
Anyone else feel like this?