Well, thought I was going to die once more. Got so bloated I looked pregnant from a massive combo of cheese, opiates, followed by stims+clonidine+nicotine+some other drugs I can't recall right now caused some insane smooth muscle constriction in my GI tract that was already full of cheese from the T-break. Anyways, legit might have been worst pain ever experienced, had ~2 inches empty in these pants, this morning they were tight, this afternoon had to unbutton/unzip them at work to sit upright without exploding. Not sure if hernias or just insanely bloated without any rupture, but could poke my gut in places and it felt really eerily like a thick fleshy balloon about to pop, all stomach muscles cramped hard with every slight gurgling, horrific pain, do bloated I could see bowl movements through the skin I think. Anyways got some Kava extract (no way I could drink root in this state) took a shitton, pretty weak stuff but it's stopped the constant spasming of GI muscle, pain mainly gone, passing lots of gas, deflating, bowls grinding to motion finally.

Was genuinely considering going to the ER because the muscle tightness had me clenched up so tight all over that nothing could escape, yesterday I ate 10 fiber bars from this cheese, and I'm still not sure if those lumps are hernias. It's 6:00AM because I've been studying pharmacology all night, first in an attempt to save myself from an intestinal timebomb, then to justify my stimulant abuse by speculating prior use of antipsychotics upregulated postsynaptic D2 receptors causing Tardive Dyskinesia (which I think I get off stims, maybe on too, not worked this logical impossibility out yet) therefore I need to abuse more stims en masse to downregulate my postsynaptic D2 through neurotoxicity in an effort to cure my mental illnesses.

But I swear, looking at criteria for various mental disorders I'm like psychotic off stims, stims should make me more crazy, but the more stims I do the more sane I get. Which sounds really fucking insane but everything insane I ever type is in the beggening of comedown, everything that makes amazing sense is at peak, and when I'm fully down I'm too paranoid to even type the shit I can't even describe it's so delusional

And of course from a scientific viewpoint, this sounds insane. Meaning I either A) have superpowers for real like legit or B) I am insane, at least in this particular moment, and as is the sane choice, I'm going to go with option B, which actually makes me sane because I can identify the fact that that is probably not true.

Also, does anyone else get INSANE muscle spasms off stims like wtf, not even just on comedown, on comedown it's borderline seizure territory but even after being off a couple days my whole body is soo damn tight fuck going to sleep now good luck