Whats the dumbest thing you've ever done while high?

I'm almost positive no one will read this since there's 6K comments already, but her it goes. I once ate a half tin of the worst pot brownies imaginable at my friend's house while I was house-sitting for my girlfriend's parents. Anyone whose had edibles knows that the high kind of happens in waves. So I drive back to their house to check everything out after I've been hit with multiple waves of highness. At this point I'm so high I don't remember driving over there which genuinely terrified me. I call my girlfriend and walk around her house trying to calm down after waves of compounding highness are hitting me. At this point I'm so high that I'm legally retarded, but an idea hits me: I'll just eat something to try and sober up. My girlfriend's parent's had emptied their pantry and fridge of anything that could spoil as they'd be gone for over a week, but they had Kraft singles and white bread. I had enough soundness of mind to know that I was to not be trusted with a stovetop, so I build my grilled cheese and pop it in the microwave and hit like 2 minutes on the menu. After I stumble back to the microwave probably ten minutes later, I take my sandwich out and chow down. Only there's one problem. I didn't take the wrapper off of the cheese, and the plastic was still super hot. So I spit sandwich everywhere and throw the rest of it on the ground and leave without cleaning up. I drive home (still getting higher as I go) and sneak past my parents and go to sleep paranoid that in my haze I somehow ran someone over. The next morning I get up and vomit everywhere and go to work as a janitor where I had to scrap a dead tortoise off of the concrete driveway of where I worked.

/r/AskReddit Thread