"Magical..girl?"
"That's right-puchuu!"
"But I'm a dude."
"I can see that-puchuu."
Me and the monkeylike creature in front of me stared at each other for a while. It--Octavius was it's name, apparently, adjusted it's tie. "This is awkward for me as well-puchuu."
I flop down on the cough, exasperated. "So lemme get this straight--I, Alex Moore, am supposed to be a magical girl, and fight monsters in order to--"
"Restore the balance of peace and love in the universe, yes-puchuu." the creature cuts me off, its squeaky voice going deadpan. "Look, man, I don't pick who get chosen, I'm just your messenger-puchuu."
"Well I don't accept--I mean, you seriously expect me to prance around in a dress and shout magical spells?"
The creature lunges for me and grabs onto my shoulders, looking manic. "Listen Alex, I have kids-puchuu! This is my last chance-puchuu! If you don't come with me I'm gonna lose my job-puchuu!"
Well shit, that's heavy. I peel Octavius off of my shirt and hold him at arms length. "Fine, Fine, I'll do it."
"I owe you my life, man-puchuu! All you need to do is hold up that soulstone and shout the magic words!"
I sigh and do as he says. A bright flash of light blinds me.
I look down at the smouldering crater of what was once a Devourer, cracking my knuckles. "What're we looking at, Octavius?"
"All targets destroyed-puchuu! No casualties reported-puchuu! Spiritual resonance has begun, and the Ward is successfully collapsing!" a familiar voice squeaks through my headset.
This job's way more fun than I thought it'd be--flying, fighting monsters, saving people...Hell, with my powers as strong as they are, I'm a super hero even among super heroes.
Sometimes I almost forget that I'm in a dress.