3. [WP] "I'm going to retire," Satan said. "No more bad. No more death."

[WP] "I'm going to retire," Satan said. "No more bad. No more death."

"Ah, no. No, I don't — I don't do that sort of business these days." The blond man laughed, bringing a cup of espresso to his lips. "I thought you were supposed to be...The- The father of lies! The great deceiver! You know! —" The man across him placed both index fingers on either side of his head, lips curled to form a sinister smile.

An action he regret when he caught the eye of a passing waitress.

The man mumbled some thing, or other, under his breath, and placed both hands on his lap, feeling the heat of shame as it spread over his face. "You lie once, maybe twice in your life, and suddenly you are the father of all lies." The blond sighed. "...Are you alright?"

He observed his partner , whose head was now between his hands, leg fidgeting wildly under the table. "Oh, I'm enthralled, believe me." "It's just, y'know! I mean, you are fucking Satan-"

"Lucifer."

"Bazelbub!"

"Beelzebub. He's my cousin twice removed from heaven. At least I believe so," He placed a finger over his lips," but I don't quite remember."

"Oh my god. Oh my god, are you fucking! Listening to yourself!?" The man whispered, as he clutched the table. "Please, calm down." Replied the blond, taking another sip from the espresso, which was barely beginning to cool down. "I know I might not be very good at — this. But I really want us to bond."

"You mean, friendship? You want to be friends?"

"Yes."

"Okay, sure, we can do that." The man gave an exasperated sigh, throwing his head back in an attempt to understand. But he wasn't sure what it was that needed understanding. Everything seemed clear, and simple, but so dim and far away, too.

'Wait, did I even order a drink?'

"Alright, so," he began, leaning towards his partner, who did the same in return," You are satan. And you, basically, retired? Am I right?"

"More or less, yes."

"Okay. Why?"

The blond shrugged, "Why not?"

"What do you... Do you have any idea, of how many people live in fear of you?"

"I am painfully aware."

"...And?"

"I think it's stupid," he scoffed, "but it gives me some self-steem."

"I don't understand."

"What is there to understand?"

The man leaned back into his chair, rubbing his face with a hand, reaching for his drink, which of course, didn't exist. He cursed under his breath.

The blond looked after him, lips pursed, arms crossed, thinking of what he should say, and how he should say it. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt terrified.

And it dawned on him then. That, despite having lived for centuries, eons, having witnessed the beginning of mankind, it's end, it's rebirth. It wasn't until now that he realized how utterly lonely, and desperate, he truly felt.

"I guess I was tired." He mumbled at last.

"What?"

"I guess I was tired." He shrugged, tracing a circle with his finger.

The man observed him. And felt as if, he too, should say something. He didn't, for a long time.

"I think I understand."

The blond man glanced at him.

"Want to go to the museum? I hear there's a new art exhibition."

"I have to feed Nero."

"We'll just watch a movie at your place, then."

/r/WritingPrompts Thread
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[SP] No matter how much you drink you can't forget [WP] An adventuring party is hired to collect back taxes of a local dragon [WP] You wake up in the middle of the night with your paralysis demon cowering in the corner of your room, scared to death of whatever stands at the end of your bed. [WP] In a dingy, cyberpunk city, civility is a word missing from almost every gang's vocabulary, except for one. With the trappings of the romanticised mobsters of the 30s, they're equal parts loved and lauded for their strict code of conduct. You play by The Family's rules, or you're outta here. [WP] Turns out everyone's religion is "true," and they go to the afterlife they believe in most. You, an atheist, have just died. And the universe took you at your word when you joked about worshiping the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [WP] "Hey man, seeing ya after 5 years. How's life been?", "Just the same old, pal. Nothing much happened.", "Bro... I see you missing a hand and a leg.. your left eye is glowing green.. and your dog is constantly covered in BLUE flames... How in the world you feel nothing much happened?" [WP] An over-thinking scientist continually devises plans to get the main hero to notice them, though all of their attempts end up misinterpreted as desperate attempts to take over the world [WP] A creature beyond comprehension watches you, your every move is narrated in a calming voice all around you that you can’t pinpoint, and you believe you see cameras right outside your field of vision. [WP] While checking out an abandoned island with your new friends, you decide to look at the local pictures online. The only one nearby is a photo of you and your friends posted a month ago, before any of you even met. [WP] a witch is hired by some troubled parents, to frighten children into getting fit. [WP] "Attention, denizens of the Underworld. One among you tried to blackmail me, stating that unless I did as you wish, you would make public photos of me having a 'fairy princess' tea party with my human goddaughter in the Mortal Realm. I released those pictures for viewing myself this morning." [WP] As a little kid, you liked to pull harmless pranks on the local cryptids. As you grew older you realized the danger of going out into the woods and stopped visiting them. Turns out, the cryptids had fond memories of your antics and want to come and see you again. [WP] You are a supervillain who went undercover as a superhero for jokes, only to discover how corrupt the system is in the hero society. The system is so corrupt that you agree to lead a small group of superheroes to rebel against the unjust hero society. [WP] Everyone in the galactic community had heard the tales of Human endurance, it had been the stuff of story or nightmare in the decades since first contact. But nothing had prepared the Galactic Council for the first time a human representative broke out the Filibuster. [WP] You appear in an infinite white void of a room with nothing more than yourself, and a white piece of paper which reads, “You have been banned from existence.”

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