I just feel so massively unqualified.

I know this feeling. My wife and I are constantly doubting ourselves. We focus on support networks to get through it, and that sounds like what you really need. Can you invite friends or other family over each day just to help out with meals and housework? Having somebody make you lunch and bring in the washing is going to offset learning to settle and deal with the number 3s.

What about community nurses and family support centres. Can you follow up some local providers, and there are usually parenting hotlines but not sure what is available where you are. We have two different community support centres send somebody once a week just to check in. The give advice, bring flyers, help measure and track the babies, and just somebody to lift the spirits a couple days a week. Otherwise, when I'm a work, nanny is away, and my wife is facing a day at home by herself - she gets on facebook and invites people over for half a day to help her around the house. We have found people are very keen to get involved and help out, so long as it's here and there.

As for returning to work, can you return part time? That might help give you some sanity and normality back whilst helping you adjust to your new routine as a mother.

As for learning everything, it is scary and hard but you just do it. One of my boys had a leak in the car. It soaked into the capsule, down the seat belt, into the locking mechanism, and all over the seat cover. Nothing for it but to take it apart, shit everywhere, and wash the fucking thing. Took me hours, but can't just have a capsule full of shit now can I. It'll be fine. Just remember, if it's getting hard, "this too shall pass."