So I'll be shortening this up a bit, because I'm actually supposed to be getting ready for some costume parties!
Well, I met her in high school. This is, of course, the best way to start a story lol. We went to different schools, but we talked on myspace for what seemed like forever before actually meeting up at a mutual friends party. This was like...2006, 2007?
So I'm dating this girl, X, and I'm really digging her. I am "in love". Turns out she wasn't, because she was actually participating in reality and not some movie fairy tale romance like I stupidly was lol. How embarrassing, but yep. I go to my female bestfriend's (birthday, no alcohol) party where my now-wife is hanging out. That night was the first night I met her. It is so clear to me. The front door, the random cheering when I walked in, the stairway that S was sitting at with our mutual friends. I wish I could bring her back to that day and we could laugh at ourselves haha.
We talked as friends, but obviously she would be a likely candidate for companionship if I wasn't already involved with X.
Shit hit the fan pretty oddly with X. We ended up breaking up because one of my friends told me X was holding hands with some other guy. That bitch, right?! I snapped out of that lust pretty quick, but still felt pretty shitty.
I dated a random girl for a couple weeks. Not worth mentioning.
THEN, after several hang-out sessions with the whole group of friends, I was asked if I wanted to go to the movies with all of them. I looked right at S and I said "I'm going to stay here at home." She picked up what I was laying down, and I ended up staying home with her while our friends went out. We were still young at the time, like...I remember our parents used to drive us to each others houses lol. Then we finally got our licenses, and it was a lot better.
Her family got used to me being around, and they would invite me to outings like hiking, camping, et c. Maybe they thought we were going out, but we weren't officially haha. One hiking trip, in the car ride home, I randomly blurted out that awesome question we all know and love, "You wanna go out with me?" She did, which was pretty kind of her! Needless to say, us being like...15 or barely 16, it was very childish and cringey.
So we date for 5 years. In this time, we share everything. Hopes, fears, hobbies, doubts. She was the person I could point to and say "Look! Someone knows I exist here on Earth. Someone knows how much I toss in the middle of the night. Someone knows how happy stupid youtube videos make me." She was the person who could validate my existence, if there was ever a doubt I was living a worthwhile life. Fucked a lot, fought almost never. Just not a lot to fight about. No debt, no school stress, no nothing. We were 100% exclusive to each other. To this day, thinking about being with another girl upsets me. It's a visceral feeling.
We rented an upscale apartment with another couple when we were 18, but they up being shitty (people can change when they live together, like that, you know?). We are on better terms with them, but they burned us bad. Just real shitty roommates. During this rental, I got a job with the local city government and she started getting a bunch of hours and $$$ at her pet store shop. We still work at these jobs!
I went to school for psychology, and she went to school for film. I got a degree in 2013, but she dropped out after being offered a shit ton of money (at the time) at her job in a new position. She doesn't regret it, and neither do I.
Fast forward past the rental apartment, and we end up moving into our own apartment alone together. Much fucking was had, let me tell you! We really rocked that life, though. Money was coming in, my school was on track, and she loved her job.
UNTIL...she started talking more and more with a guy from her high school. By this time, we are about....20, almost 21. He was just a random, and they both used Tumblr, and they would chat about that I guess. She would always show me his posts and stories of his life and we would laugh at how shitty his life was. This is because I was a horrible fucking person back then, fyi ;) Pretty mean to someone I never even met. I mean, i wasn't a douchebag, but I can't think of a reason that any of that stuff was justified.
Anyways, her laughter turned to pity and she developed a sense of camaraderie with this guy. I was confused. Weren't we both casually laughing at how shit this guys life was? How could she start having sympathy when we were having such a good time with this fucked up hobby of sorts?
She started hanging out with him. I, not to be outdone, was "fine" with it. I didn't want to hang out with them, so I told her she could do it alone whenever she wanted. Why would I hang out? He was still that anonymous "loser" at life that I had no interest in becoming friends with. This was during a time where I constantly pushed for her to "be her own person" and "make her own friends that don't necessarily have to be my own". What a weird thing to think, now that I look back on it. It's all so strange.
So I start getting weirded out, and I would occasionally glance at her phone while she was texting him. A couple times, I even checked her phone while she slept. Absolutely NOTHING, but in my head something was up. Spoiler alert: absolutely nothing was up lol.
We fought for the "first time" about 4 years into our relationship. Mainly about him, but other shit creeped in. Still, we loved each other immensely, and things went on.