I can feel the crowd of dads in the comments eating pop corn and waiting for the Magical words that return sex to pre kids state. Just know it’s not unusual, although like most of us in the same spot that doesn’t do you much good. For me it’s not even the lack of sex but the lack of understanding around our needs/preference. My wife shuts it down in such a cold way without meaning too that she might as well make that motion cats do when they smell something nasty. That’s a hard pill to swallow when if you were dating someone and they did that, it would be over in a second. Not because of the rejection, but because of the coldness. Like you genuinely don’t care to even act like it’s something you might be interested in later. Like if I said hey do you want to spilt this chocolate cupcake? And she wasn’t hungry it would easily be - no but put my half in the fridge and I will definitely take it for work. Which first of all is not what I asked- I asked if you wanted to split the cupcake. Not if you wanted me to have less cupcake now, so one day in the future you can have something I would prefer to eat the whole thing now of, go back to finding out who is not a 23 YO blonde chick on The Circle. But instead it’s just “no”. That is the phrasing of someone you know to never ask if they even like cupcakes.