[2,850] Ethan and John

Each of your notes is worth five dollars. I started with the hostel so the reveal that they're 'tourists' wasn't a huge surprise. The farmer is the man-in-the-middle, I'm worried that's not clear now.

But more importantly: it is to the sub's great shame that Oodles of Noodles (unsure about the title) was not properly received. When people are kind to my writing I check their shit—for purely self-serving reasons—with fingers crossed, so I was pleased to get to laugh out loud several times through the easiest thing I've read in forever.

I turned the comments back on, which disturbed the huge grin on my face. You're probably not as insecure as I am, so you can look at comments like, "This is spoonfeedy, we can tell she's being sarcastic" with a sense of humor, and not bloodlust. You can look at, "You lost me. What story?" without bending something until it snaps. I feel sincere trepidation about reading any more than five words of each of the comments in the actual thread, knowing I might actually be frustrated for an hour.

I wish I could find relief in knowing some people don't get things—don't cut it all on their behalf—except it's so hard to know. And the irony is that my biggest problem with the story was the sentence after the biggest laugh, when you cheapened it ever so slightly by telling us not to sympathize. It's that moment in a movie when you laugh, then the movie explains the joke, and your dim buddy laughs. And by the looks of the comments, you actually need to do that.

Laughed at second paragraph. Big smiles through bagel talk. Laughed again at "Hide my bagels." Blip on something I'd change at "she's gone pro". Loved the style of "I don't know, a jaguar" assuming the question. Loved the beat on appeal. Didn't have to google agnolotti to know it was some fucking pasta thing I could, if I wanted, google. I liked the 'because—because—because', the interrupting of himself with a parenthetical and backing up. Obvious big laugh at deaf. Then the aforementioned disappointment with humanity at "Wait no! Don't go sympathizing." Absolutely ADORED "she's one of those people, you don't understand." I had to read the "when the rush hits they pray for the end, and when it leaves they say "I'm bored", about three times. It clicked eventually. I'm not sure the whining is a natural part of the tattling, or what. Both seem a natural part of x. I honestly didn't find the husband's abuse and children poignant; he actually convinced me that she's whining too much. In case you were looking for more irony there. Loved nodded along x 3. I loved the managers saying "who cares?", because it flips the people she's been approaching against her. Here it got poignant again—but then we find out it's a flashback and the bagel happened after. **The only significant change I would make** is that I want to feel bad for her at this point. The fact that she approached management and they were cold reminds me that her children don't appreciate her, in a new light, because she's so naive or simple or sad. I would rather she not tell about the bagel after this point. At this point I feel for both of them. Weirdly. Maybe just my mood.

/r/DestructiveReaders Thread Parent