I went through your post history to try to get a little insight and I think you may need to take a back seat from dating and get back into therapy. I don't mean any of the following to be hurtful or insulting, but I am going to be blunt with you.
If you come off in person as you do in your comments and posts on Reddit, then the women you are dating are probably getting hit with waves of self-loathing, confusion, anxiety, depression and desperation. These are not attractive qualities in a person, no matter your interests or physical appearance.
You refer to yourself as perverse multiple times (and not in a 'let your freak flag fly' sort of way). This suggests to me you have some deep-seated shame around aspects of your sexuality that would best be worked out with a sex/kink positive therapist before you get too deep into the dating world. There is nothing wrong with having different kinks and preferences, but you're just so down on yourself about it in other posts.
You have made comments in some other subreddits that make it seem like you're trying too hard to be an ally to women. It's great that you believe in equal rights for all and have a problem with certain gender stereotypes, but tone it down. Personally, when a guy makes a point of telling me how much of a feminist he is, or congratulates me on being a 'true feminist' for not hating all men, it's a turn off. It feels forced and disingenuous. Like a backhanded compliment of some sort.
It also seems like you adopt different personalities depending on the subreddit community you're participating in. Most people do this to some extent but, again, this sorta suggests to me that you may be coming off as fake or forced in your interactions with your dates IRL.
This post alone radiates confusion and a negative self image. It seems like you put up the front you think a girl will want. As if there is a formula to having a successful date. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong or malicious at all. Just that your approach doesn't seem overly genuine and you seem to have some personal stuff going on that is likely very apparent to your dates.
My advice to you would be to get back into therapy to address why your self esteem is shot to hell and to work through some of the ideological or philiosophical questions you've brought to Reddit in the past few months. A community of random people giving you 100 different answers to deeply personal challenges is not always going to help you figure out who you are, what you believe and what you want in life.
Right now it seems like you have no idea about those things and that potential partners are sensing it from a mile away.
And I don't see it in your post history but while you're working through all this, stay the hell away from MRA, PUA and TRP for the love of god. Therapy and time are your best bet and consider printing off your Reddit history and providing your therapist with it.