Aw man, hugs

You sound like a sweet dude.

You literally didnt do anything wrong and tried to inform her that you were gonna bust.

Trauma is super super tricky. Our (survivors) brains take us back to that place in an instant and can trick us into feeling helpless all over again.

Hopefully during this time apart she will reflect and come to realize that you are not her abuser and did not intend to do something without consent.

But that knee jerk reaction our brains flood us with is so so real and intense for the person experiencing it "I'm not safe. I'm not in control. How did I let this happen" it's a narrative victims live and struggle with. I dont wanna generalize so I wanna recognize others have different experiences.

THAT BEING SAID, you dont deserve to be made to feel as tho you acted with malice over accidents. It may happen from time to time but she has to have the ability to reflect, rationalize, and apologize when necessary. If this becomes a larger pattern of behavior it may be in your best interest to part ways.

Since you seem really invested in this relationship you should put the work in to communicate and understand your partner (not that you're not trying, idk you this is just advice).

When shes ready you could ask her what feelings it arised in her, what you two can do moving forward to attend to her triggers, if she wants to stay in this relationship, etc.

Curious, is she in therapy for her trauma? You can be an amazing partner and support system but you dont have to be/should not be her therapist.

Source: Trauma survivor here in an amazing relationship that I got into shortly after escaping my abuser. My partner did everything in his power to respect my triggers, be patient and understanding of me. The loving environment he fostered restored my sense of safety in a relationship. It gave me the courage to get help. he helped me and it eventually it was time to help myself. Going on 3 years with EMDR, still have bad days and flashbacks but it's nothing like before. Everyones different, I'm not an instructional manual on how to navigate or support survivors but I do know it's hard to go wrong with compassion. Just make sure its mutual and not too much for you to bear.