hey. Internet stranger rooting for you here.
You are pretty much me from a few years ago. When I was barely 20, I had sex with my boyfriend of five months for the second time. (He also was and is the only man I've ever kissed/dated/had sex with.) he had a sore on his lip, and when I asked him what it was, he said he bit his lip. In reality, he knew it was a cold sore but didn't tell me because he was out of state and just down for the weekend and he wouldn't to get 'full use' out of the time. I grew up very sheltered, so I didn't know that cold sores were herpes, or really anything about herpes.
At some point, we had oral sex. Within a day or so, right when he was leaving, I got extremely sick. He told me I was just missing him. Turns out that having your first outbreak can cause you to feel like you have a bad flu. I went to my college's health center as soon as it opened the next morning, and I had a UTI and genital herpes, type-1. The APN had a serological test done, which is actually the only way to know for sure that you do/don't have it. There has to be a sample from an active sore. Testing blood for antibodies while you don't have an outbreak doesn't necessarily mean anything, which only gives people a false sense of security.
Anyways, I called my boyfriend and told him what the nurse said. He told me that it was impossible for me to have it, because he doesn't. Later he admitted that his 'lip bite' was indeed a cold sore and that he got at least one a year. I SHOULD have dumped his stupid ass that day (he was a lousy guy in other respects), but I was so afraid of being alone for the rest of my life with an incurable STD.
In fact, after years of sexual abuse, I married him. It was only after eight years when I saw a therapist for another issue that I realized exactly what my husband was. I left him soon after starting therapy, and lo and behold he was having an affair with a co-worker 12 years his junior (21F/33M) and had actually knocked her up!
I WISH I had dumped him before he gave me an STD. I WISH I had left him before we got married. I WISH I had divorced him before we bought a house. Fortunately I hadn't gotten pregnant yet (although we were trying- scary) so I am not forever attached to him.
This guy is a dick. He abused you. If I could say anything to Past Me- Report him and go live your life with people who love you.