I [24F] met and am falling for Andreu* [33M], who I met in Barcelona almost 2 months ago, except I'm here in Canada, and I'm not sure what to believe.

This reminds me of my current situation with a girl I fell for.

I was working somewhere away from home and it was my last week in the area before heading back. Similar to you and Andreu, we met one night and ended up going on dates every single day of that last week. I couldn't get enough of her. We both agreed that we didn't want to do anything long distance, even though I could tell she was one of kind and felt differently about her than other girls in my past.

We spent the next month or so texting every once in a while, but nothing serious. Until one weekend I was in her area for work again and decided to go see her. We spent two days together and I could tell at this point, she had completely fell for me. We talked almost every single day after that, and I started to catch more and more feelings for her. She wanted me to come visit her and I agreed, so I booked a trip to go see her.

Fast forward to that day, and everything seemed to be going great until she started acting less affectionate and I got vibe that she was no longer head over heels as she was before. Once I returned home, we talked once and she made it clear that our personalities are different (sounded like a cover for something else) and that she didn't see me as anything more than a friend. For me, this was tough to hear because I had completely fallen for her at this point and couldn't stop thinking about her. I had opened up to her like this because of how she felt about me for the months prior, and it sucked to just have it all gone. We didn't talk again for another month, until I texted her yesterday day and we had a short, dry conversation.

I think the issue with these types of long distance romances is that we see this really great person for such a short amount of time in person, and then spend the rest of the time away from them thinking about them in our heads and how we picture them to be. With Andreu not being near you, you are probably thinking about him all the time and creating this image of him in your head based on social media, texts, etc. that might not fully be what you get in person.

So sorry for the long comment, but I believe you have two options: 1. Stop talking to him and accept the fact that unless you are both living in the same area, it's not going to work out and you are wasting a lot of time thinking about how he may be this perfect person for you in your head (What I was doing with the girl I was talking to) 2. Go visit him or vice versa, and see if it's as magical in person again as it feels long distance. If nothing happens to change over the course of your visits and you both continue to have feelings for each other, then congratulations. If not, you've experienced what happened to me and will move on. Its a risk, and requires you to invest a lot of time into seeing someone, but in the name of love, that risk might be worth it. Personally, I don't regret that last trip I made to see her, but I reallly wish things turned out differently.

/r/relationships Thread