[24F] What do you think of me?

Both your post and your pics make me think that you're unhappy. Maybe with yourself, maybe with your life in general... but I get it. I've been there/am there now. Change seems difficult and pointless, and finding a starting place is overwhelming because so many things need changing.

Firstly, you're young. I'm about to turn 29, and I can tell you these changes to your life don't come any easier as time passes. Now, on top of being unhappy with myself and my life, I'm worried about 'running out of time'. This is what 'giving up' gets you... wasted time. Because the funny thing about 'giving up' on yourself is that you still have to live the rest of your life... it doesn't actually change anything. That being said, the only nice thing about being at rock bottom is anything you do is an improvement. You just have to do something... or even just decide that you want to do something.

I don't think you're 'ugly'. I think you're unhappy, and that your unhappiness is shining through every facet of your being. A lot of beauty or ugliness comes from within, I know that sounds like fucking bullshit... but think about it. Would you want someone who looks like Channing Tatum, but spits on homeless people? Who you are matters. At the end of the day most people want to come home to someone who loves them and is glad to see them. Most people want a life partner who is creative, fun, joyful, thoughtful, kind, and compassionate. Physical attraction does play into relationships of all kinds, but as a prof of mine used to say "love begets loveliness"... meaning that when you care about someone, you see them as more attractive than strangers. You like how they look, because that's who they are. A different face (even one from a glamour model) wont be as beautiful in your eyes. That's what people mean by 'inner beauty'... in your case, your inner beauty is completely overshadowed by your misery, and it's showing on your face. Its bringing you down, making it impossible to see how you really are.

From the practical side: Sit up straight. Good posture not only makes you look better all over, but it also makes you feel better mentally... it takes some getting used to, and slouching can be a seriously hard habit to break (I haven't totally managed it yet) but it's worth making an effort for. Also, look into playing with different hair styles. You look like you have very curly hair, and like to have it out of your face, maybe try something like this or this. Don't do these things for other people... do them because you're worth it, and taking care of yourself feels good. When you feel good, it shows... back to that inner beauty thing I was talking about earlier.

As far as being overweight goes... I'm with you there too. Again, it seems like such a difficult and discouraging process that it can be hard to find a place to start. I'd suggest for now, going for a walk every day. In the morning, in the evening, whenever works for you (those are my favorite times, less people around). It's not totally about being active, although that is a benefit. Try to go somewhere with trees and a little nature, but just getting outside for 20min a day helps with my mental space and attitude.

Anyway, Op... this turned into a monster post, so I'm sorry if I overloaded you with unwanted advice or anything. I just really identified with you through your post and wanted to reach out. If you ever want to talk or anything, feel free to PM me. Take care of yourself. You're the only one you can count on to do it.

/r/amiugly Thread