but we don't have to pretend like those actions never happened and they have no right to expect us to.

this is false and contradicts the bible. it contradicts the very thing that our salvation is riding on. by believing in God in exchange for salvation, you're asking Him to brush passed the sins you've done. He forgets what we've done, cleanses us, and gives us a clean slate. if He were to just go off of our actions before coming to Him and even after, literally none of us would be saved.

this logic stems from thinking that fornication is worse than anything else. yes sexual immortality is the one sin that is against our own bodies, but that doesn't just mean fornication. that's adultery, masturbation, lusting, AND fornication. and even then, sin is still equal. breaking one law is breaking all laws. with your logic, it's fair for someone to decide not to marry you because you've stolen from someone before, even though you have repented and been made new. that wouldn't be fair, especially since that person has sinned before as well. even if it was a different sin.