Yes. When I have told him to leave he tells me to find him the apartment.

And in the past I was very mentally unwell and would beg him to leave me because I knew he would resent me for my behavior and he refused to leave me and just wanted me to be healthy.

Now that I've changed and become far more self aware, he is traumatized by old behavior patterns and doesn't see the change and just resents me.

I used to sometimes offer him thousands of dollars to leave (like 4k, all my cash combined). He would be furious and tell me he never wants to see the money again.

Now he will ask for it and I don't have that much anymore because I'm on disability and a student and just have no fuckin money.

So the last time I said to leave he demanded I give him the money and told me to find the apartment. His settlement will come in 2-3 months and he will leave me then.

I want to be a kind person and not rock the boat until then. My mental and physical health are suffering so greatly.

I take the verbal abuse he gives me (like when he says "you have no idea what you're talking about" about basic shit that I fucking know) because there's no point and I was mean for years but he refused to leave me then.

So now I just want to keep the peace because he sleeps in my bed and lives in my family home and I can't take the fighting any more