Everyone we know is opposed to this relationship so I can't confide in my friends or family.

So why are you still with this jerk? He's not worth a single tear.

He is not a bad guy, and I'm pretty hard to handle with my anxiety but I am struggling with the lack of acknowledgement in terms of feeling, the lack of communication, bitterness over all the promises that disappeared and blaming myself for not saying yes all those months ago, I feel like every night I'm left home alone or snubbed for kisses/affection I'm being punished.

You know what you need? To dump this jerk and go to therapy to work on your extremely low self-esteem. If you though higher of yourself, you wouldn't have put up with this bs for so long.