I think the food thing is a product of being so upset for so long. You are anxious so you feel sick. You try to eat but because you are already anxious and sick you feel worse so you don't want to eat. When you are at home you are not afraid so it's not a problem so you don't get the same physical response. It's a cycle that is difficult to break.

I would not recommend smoking weed 24/7, but I will be honest and say I don't know why you wouldn't use it at least sometimes if it did help you. Even if it just offered you a break from it all for a few hours here and there.

Benzodiazipenes kill anxiety but they carry a risk of dependency and so must be used with caution. Even using them as prescribed can be a risk for some if it goes on long term. They are best suited for occasional use when anxiety is at an extreme level. I actually think you would be safer with weed given what you have said. At least when you stop using that you're only left with the same anxiety and not an addiction or reliance. Some will recommend anti-depressants but I do not.

If you could manage it, I think talk-therapy would be helpful. Medication or no medication. Keeping all this shit locked inside is awful for your mental health. Do you have anyone at home that you talk with about anything?

The best advice I can give is to be kind to yourself. Your life doesn't have to be like others. Find your way though it the best you can. If you can't hold down a job... so what? If you can get by without one and you're not homeless then don't worry about it too much. But I go outside EVERYDAY, walk somewhere, fast, brisk. Get your heart pumping. Make it a thing you do no matter what you feel like. Inside is safe and warm but it gets small and keeps you in a similar state of mind without much rest. As you said, mental health issues are very lonely for those that truly suffer as you have. Just going outside and being part of the world - even on your own - opens your world up and keeps you grounded in reality.

Lycka till!