Yah at a half way point she did once let something slip along the lines of "I don't think relationships can long term if threesomes don't get involved". But I am OKAY with hot threesome shit, and hell yah I'll watch her with other people, and not just girls, as long as it's not like cuckold shit, I'm not into degradation - I'd have to be participating too, and obviously I am far more inclined to ffm, and that's why I think mfmf is the best solution, because not oddly enough I can handle my girl taking two, if some other guy's gets two as well and then if we are apart at least im not watching her fuck some dude, I have my own fuck toy to use. That's hot imo lol.

Anyway, you nailed it also: Off a dry spell, but she's funny and sweet and semi intelligent and not ungrateful, and we both smoke weed so it's a perfect story pretty much.

And listen this part may seem slightly sociopathic, but I saw that in her, that potential to fuck it all up with her insatiability, but I told myself, you know, it's better to keep her around and be the happiest person alive and practice being a true man and always being above any bullshit and always being helpful and cooking and cleaning and just being a fucking ballpark knockout catch. And I've done that, and I'm really happy with who I am and what I can be, it's just I'm a little attached to the broad now...I speak like a bro, like I'm underexaggerating and what not lol but ya, I'm pretty in love, I was under the impression perfection would prevent her from doing anything silly or being afraid of asking me anything or just even saying like "hey fuck, I'm having feelings for girls, like wanting to hook up again, and I just want you to know that...let's talk?" like it could go anywhere, but I guarantee it'd go better than wherever her mind could go alone without mine helping to maybe compromise or SOMETHING.

Anyway, I'm proud of where I am, just attached now and knew that if this kinda shit started to happen I'd always just pull the plug cuz honestly I'll forgive the potential bullshit, but if she did hook up with her coworkers, it's over immediately. I would've let her do them in front of me, or even while I was away tbh, and she could just send me a few pics and call it a day, but not trusting me to trust her is the ultimate break in trust for me. I don't do that, and I warned her at the beginning it was a huge dealbreaker if she ever went behind my back over some shit because I don't play deceit, I put it all out, so you do to and if you are afraid I'm too closed minded to understand then you don't know me and that's a better reason to drop your ass. Anyway, that's where I'm at. I can find it within me to unattach if she already did any deed. But, if she just contemplated, and then found it within herself to be fucking wise andd keep a good thing then thats fine because I have to do that everytime girls hit me up and I ignore their feeble bullshit. Girls can be beta as fuck to be honest, it's sad, and my gf is the ultimate example now that I think of it. She's beta as they come, because she's the kind that acts like shes somehow alpha. Has no friends, did stupid shit and literally allowed and accepted herself being used for a period of time while she was uber promiscuous. She wanted a bf ultimately but was okay with being used so thats pretty sad, but you know....I'm a Pisces, so it's within me to want to build and fix em up. I love it. It gets me off, being able to inspire people and watch them do great things just because I was a good person to them and stuck by them. Gotta say tho, puttin it out there behind my back is a good form of ungratefulness, so I'm taking back what I said before about her being a grateful person. It's clearly a facade, it doesn't run that deep or she'd never even do this. But life's fucked anyway, that's why I said, I'm with her for a net increase in happiness from where I was before her, and yah that is the only part of me that is slightly sociopathic I guess in all this, but really it's just logical. I was unhappy and finally getting happy, I found someone who boosted that more and could hold me high for a long period (relatively i guess - a year isn't bad!) and now I'm either going to work this out and soar higher, or just walk away at the height I am now and not fall an inch knowing that I set out for this, I set out to just be happier overall and that's what I got for this whole time, because there's been like 1 fight EVER in an entire year, and it was over a pair of fucking shorts so I won that shit in the end anyway lmao. So I just need to be content with that. And also maybe consider that my constant fear of her past and her fear of trusting me combined would come to fruition, actually made them come to fruition. So next one down the road (and fuck this is bad cuz this is what I'm saying right now, not to insinuate shit or it comes true lol) it won't quite be the same if I hold my dumbass thoughts.

I told myself this a ton too, I said you know if a girl ever cheats, you're going to be sad you worried so much in the mean time before it actually happened because you could spend the times when she's not cheating totally happy, and then when she does, just leave and avoid that nonsense, ungrateful is unfaithful.