I feel sad for her, and I feel sad for you.

Despite some rather ...interesting... Comments on here you do have every right to feel upset about the situation. She ruined a big day for you in a harsh and painful way, using terms like "someone like you" and as many people have said she was probably lashing out blindly due to her pain, that being said, that comment makes me think that she has probably been thinking those words for some time, it's a nasty thing to say and I doubt it flew off the top of her brain. I have a friend who has said the same words about someone (granted this person is a collosol douche-canoe) to me and I knew she had thought it a thousand times before vocalising it.

My issue here is: she expected you to be a mind reader, she was clearly in pain but dismissed you telling her she was under no pressure to attend, she was in pain and- despite you being beyond clear that you are there to listen (so she needn't worry about spoiling your day with her news) she grinned and bared it, until she didn't.

I totally understand her pain, but I don't think it's fair for you to have to sensor your joy because your friend was having trouble conceiving (all you knew at the time)

My advice is to let her come to you, there is a very real chance she is beyond mortified about her behaviour, and if she wasn't at first I'm betting her husband will be ready to help her understand that she was being nutter butters.

Either she comes to you and you forge on through both of your journeys to parenthood (because hers is far from over) as an unbreakable duo, or she never understands what she did was wrong and in that case, I think you may have to let the friendship go the way of the dodo.

Don't chase her, it's not your place to, you didn't do anything wrong, and even though it was sad and understandable and a pain filled reaction, she did.