30M, married and with 2 kids. moved to the UK for better opportunities but wife doesn't like it

it is no surprise she is feeling that way. she is lost, confused, and probably a bit bored. it is all the bad parts of taking a vacation without any of the sense of excitement or adventure (because every time you look out the window you are not thinking "i only have ten days left of this" you are thinking "this is my city and i do not even know where to go to buy underwear").

start by giving her things to look forward to. plan a night out for the two of you. or plan an excursion. do not ask "what would you like to do" but instead "would you be interested in doing [activity]". Thoroughly research it but plan the actual outing together. so she has a sense of control and not just a child being dragged along.

go for walks. go into stores and see what they sell. compare boots to superdrug. wander around tesco metro and tesco express. go into marks and Spencers and John Lewis. go to these places without the stress of "having" to buy things. just so she gets familiar with the store names and what each sells.

you know your wife so you know her interests... but research a social hobby for her. for example Edinburgh college of art does 12 week art classes that meet in the evenings once a week. they cost only 250 quid or something. it let's her learn something new, meet new people, gives her something of "her own". but do not just tell her "oh this uni offers French classes" because the confusion of being in a new city and now having to navigate a horrifically designed uni website will throw her over the edge. also look or a sports team or mothers group. be prepared to go with her the first time. the stress of finding the way AND meeting people is enough to make anyone not bother.

basically... just try to remember how lost and incredibly confused she is right now. and she has no one to share it with. you are now an expert in this new city and life and that makes her feel even more out of place!

/r/relationship_advice Thread