You made the right choice. After being with someone for so long, being married, all that trust... you can't ever trust him again. He was supposed to be your partner, your rock, and he has destroyed that notion.

I know that you miss the cuddles and the love. But you need to find that with someone else. I know it's hard, after you've been together for so long with someone - you know so much about their life, and they know so much about yours. It's losing a best friend and a family member.

But he's broken all of that now, and you'd probably regret going back to him, after a couple of years.

You will find someone new, who will cuddle and love you, and who (hopefully) won't undermine the trust and comfort of the relationship by getting cold feet and having affairs with other women. It'll get better. You 110% have a fantastic chance of being happy again. Just not with him. Don't waste any more of your time on him.