Her biggest problems with me are two things.
1) I want an open relationship, she does not. I completely understand this is a dealbreaker for many, many people. I didn't just spring this on her out of the blue, this was a very open need from me the first week we even dated over 6 years ago. She was always "oh yeah I'm totally cool with that!" except that over time I think she thought I'd change, and when I didn't it has caused conflict. Sorry, I'm not changing on this one. It's what I need to be happy in life, and it's why I communicated it up front, openly and honestly.
2) We grew up in very different households. and I've had a lot of relationships and she's had very few. She does not understand there is no "one right way" for a person to express their emotions, and the levels of that and intimacy they are comfortable with on any given day. She doesn't understand why I don't think/act/want things like she does, and thinks there's something broken with me to fix, so that If she can understand the why of why I am the way I am, she can fix it and then I will behave in exactly the way she thinks I should. I've worked very hard at giving her my best in these areas, and it's never enough. I will basically do what is an emotional sprint for me, and we we will have a good night, but as soon I slow down to catch my emotional breath so to speak, she then thinks I'm neglecting her since I can't keep up the pace & intensity, if that makes sense. I need her to accept that some of this is just who I am, how I operate emotionally and stop pushing for me to change at the drop of a hot. I need patience and understanding and maybe over time I can get better at emotional things, but the constant feeling of what I can do never being enough is certainly NOT making me feel accepted.
Early in our relationship she said she understand these things, and accepted me for me, and we were very happy. At some weird point she basically started demanding I change who I am, and I basically said "I don't think I can meet the needs you are telling me you have to the level that you need them met." and then she'd always tell me she understands, and it would go fine again for another week or two and then blow up because she's upset again that her emotional needs aren't being met.
You can't take 2 random people and force them to change some innate things about themselves and be together. I really feel like that's what she continues to try to do.
At this point, we've done this merry-go-round many times and I finally said I have had enough. We agreed that we're just not right for each other, but then she seems to easily forget those conversations and want to go right back into trying to change me to fit her desires.
I wanted to shwo some articles on if two people are going to be together, there are some things you are just going to have to accept, even if you don't fully understand or agree - you have to accept them as part of your reality (and hopefully they aren'y HUGE things). I think the problem is these are HUGE things for her, and that we just have to accept we just don't mesh well.