Narcissists do not feel love the way we do. They are also unable to feel true empathy. It is a personality disorder, not something you can cure. You can become aware of it enough to try and not live your life through the urges it generates, but you can never be rid of it.

She should not in any way contact those kids again. Particularly not to say she loves them. They have spent all those years learning to disassociate her behaviour from that of love, in order to have healthy relationships themselves.

As a child of a narc parent, I can honestly say, the very best thing she can do, is drop the dellusional idea that she can fix the past with any apologies on her palette of emotional ability. She can write a letter to leave with her will, where she shows self awareness, enough to take responsibility for the pain and terrible bagage she caused her kids. But they dont need to give her a stage in order for her to do so. To be truely selfless, she has to do that in a letter she leaves with the will.

Forgiving is done for the one doing the forgiving. Not for the other person. She doesnt need to be alive for the kids to put it to rest, - but I bet that they are already pretty much done with the past.