She was first diagnosed with Bipolar, now she's been diagnosed with Borderline (which was insulting that she embraced the diagnosis because when I was 12 she took me away from the psychiatrist that first diagnosed me with borderline because she "didn't like the diagnosis"). Her entire blog is her talking about her mental illness and being an advocate and all this stuff making her out to be a pariah. So she doesn't recognize or think she's been abusive but she does want "help" for whatever it is she is diagnosed with. She is mentally ill, she has been suicidal and she has self injured and has had psychotic episodes and all the other great fun stuff that comes with being bipolar/borderline. My therapist thinks it is more likely she is borderline, my dad is schizotypal, my friend says muchausens by proxy based on how she treated and controlled me and my mental illness as a kid.

So she knows she has a problem but not that the right problem. She has the absolutely worst case of using intellectualizing as a barrier, worse than me before I started seeing my last therapist and he helped me unlock myself and allow myself to feel feelings. She is so self-absorbed with her own mental health and being a victim and if she does attempt to accept responsibility for something she did wrong it is always in the sense of self-deprecation (like borderline) of "I'm so horrible and awful" never actually apologizing just trying to make you feel sorry for her.

You make good points. It's really just this wishful thinking that there was something I could do make things better, you know?

I've made it so her calendar isn't visible on my calendars so I never actively see her appointments or anything it's just whenever I use a calendar app and connect to google it's one of the options for visible calendars.