Alright man, your mind isn't changing tonight and thats okay. The thing about people is they fail, they fuck up, they get depressed. But you can always try again tomorrow. I hope you can keep that in mind at least. Just because you can't connect with help today doesn't mean you can't tomorrow. Society is always changing and providing new options and you're always changing and capable of new things, you won't know whats possible unless you try. So I hope you try again tomorrow. And if you cant, thats okay because there is another day after that with another opprotunity. Odds are those days will suck too, but they might not and you won't know unless you give each day a fair shot to be better than the day before. I hope you find peace, guy. From someone who's been where you are mentally, if not so isolated, know that you can change if you want. You just have to keep trying and usually failing, but a million failures and a success is still a success.