NTA. So trying to read between the lines this my best guess as to what your friend's thought process is:

You and your wife have a good marriage, and for the sake of argument seem to be equally yoked, meaning you're both pulling the same weight as the other when it comes to marriage. However, your friend's words imply that she might not be feeling that same even distribution between her and her husband.

So your friend sees this imbalance in her marriage, and chalks it up to everyone has imbalances in their marriage. This is actually a fallacy, or false argument, called non sequitur: Just because she is married, and potentially feeling unbalanced, does not mean that you're feeling unbalanced simply because you are married. However, unless you are familiar with fallacies, they can be easy traps to fall into.

So she starts projecting. Now she's looking for the imbalance in your marriage, because up to this point she's convinced herself that your marriage isn't perfect she just needs to figure out why. Clearly your problems are in x category, or y category, but you're able to tell her no they're not. Now she's embarrassed, because she wasn't able to prove that your marriage has bumpy roads, while her's is still a bit of a mess. Which is precisely why you shouldn't compare yourself to others.

No, I don't think your friendship is doomed or her marriage is doomed, but they can be if she doesn't start addressing the right issues.

Good luck OP.